I truly believe people need to understand that being diagnosed with BPD and/or bipolar disorder means fighting myself, all day, every day. I’ve certainly experienced real doggy love. I much prefer it to so-called romantic love. I’ve never had a romantic relationship, or even a friendship, where the person turned out to have my back and to be ethical in general. I know there are truly good people out there, but they are very hard to find. There are a lot more crap people and mediocre people.
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Me and my GF, both in our 40’s, both very active with outdoor sports, and both, what I thought, perfectly healthy and well-adjusted. To add a kicker to it all, its a long-distance relationship, being about miles apart. Traffic adds a whole other level of difficulty to that. This only leaves weekends, with us alternating who visits who each weekend. I’m more the easy-going, stress and conflict-avoiding, dreaded “nice guy”. And I’m having several facepalm moments while reading your articles here.
Understand Your Partner May Have Been Abused
This is what “crazy” women do — they hook you, get you all attached and needy, then they drop you. Experienced players know better, which is why they do well with borderlines. As long as you ALWAYS have a non-attached attitude towards her, she will always be yours. That’s truly the only way to keep these women. So when she isn’t responsive, just let her go.
If the sex feels almost fake and performative, you are dealing with a damaged person with a toxic relationship to sex. Go back to the time when you first met your guy. You may have been a little bit unsure about him, so you didn’t care too much whether he called you or not.
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I had been arranging to move out into an apartment so my love and I would be happier. The best friend needed to move out and was going to take the room my love and I slept in. That’s when the affair with the older man started at first. My love never apologized but seemed to torture me with it. The older man said nothing to my ex’s best friend but basically dumped her for my love. Eventually I moved out when I said I would and still had contact with my love.
Someone that’s not afraid to put them in their place. The problems that most people have in these relationships is that they sit back like you and let things go, they’re afraid to argue, etc. Now arguing has both it’s positives and negatives and I don’t want to get into that, but just keep in mind that you can’t be passive when you date people like this. In fact, you can’t be passive in ANY relationship. It just creates a toxic environment over time. Like your ex said, she needs you to put her in her place.
I think the book ‘Radical Acceptance’ is one I need to check out. – Rosie Cappuccino, ‘More Than Borderline’ blog author. These are only one of the few ways a stalker will harm your personal peace. It’s time you now figure out what to do about a stalker ex-boyfriend who still continues to know every single thing about you. Yup, this is one of the undeniable traits of a stalker boyfriend.
That said, if you have watched your friend value and then devalue other friends, you may be wondering when it will be your turn. You may be worried that if you open your mouth, you will be the next one to be “devalued” and labeled the black sheep. The same instability in relationships can also apply to self-image or sense of self. A person with BPD may seem to believe that they are successful one moment, but the next may be extremely self-denigrating or hard on themselves. Their sense of self may also be unstable, which may lead them to behave differently in different contexts or social groups.
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BPD comes in a ton of different sizes and shapes – no two are alike. It’s actually quite sad that a label has developed. Either way, it’s a psychological issue and the best way to get control over your mind is to dig down deep and identify all the negative thoughts and emotions. Most people have emotional problems that they never confront. The way I unlearned my codependency habits was by first facing the issue head on.
I was getting over some bad sinus problems with seasonal allergies and I developed a cough. The cough sometimes makes me choke it gets so rough. Don’t get me wrong- I still have loads of baggage but it’s amazing to realize there are decent loving people out there! I often feel bad about what I missed though too.